Transitioning from accompanied to drop-off

[baguette]

Once a teacher told me: don't give your kid the wrong idea that, if you just want to, you can stay and play with her.
Because that's not true.

I have never been in the class with my daughter.
We just started day one leaving her ther for one hour and the two and then half a day.
The first days I spied her crying for 10 seconds (believe me!) when I dropped her off and then stopping as soon as she was sure I was gone.

And she had never been without me before the nursery.

I agree with Cara: they are manipulators.

Jus to give an example: my husband is the weak one, he's the one who would stay longer if she asks...well he's not allowed to bring her to school; whenever he does that it's a tragedy!

[dany]

Hi,

My dgtr is also almost 2 1/2, however, she's been in the nursery for almost 1 year. I still recalled her first few days were nightmares to both of us, she cried terribly and terribly, whereas, I can do nothing but to pamper her. Honestly, the staffs there recommended me to just leave at once as our kids will probably stop crying in an unfamiliar environment where there are other kids. But, I chose to accompany her for the first few weeks, however, weeks extended to almost 3 mths time, which now she understands the rythm and accepts it fine every morning! Try to be on their side, how will you feel at this age in a totally unfamiliar environment, isn't it normal to have fear???? that's why i stayed beside her...

[yonge]

My eldest was 20 months when we sent him to his first playgroup in Singapore, which was 4 hours a day, five days a week. The nursery had a policy where the parents could only pick-up/drop-off - absolutely no hanging around! He bounded in happily the first two days, excited to play with new toys and new children. After that, he realized that we were missing until we came to pick him up, so there was a little fussing and anxiety expressed for another three days, but it took only a few minutes to allay. He's never had any problems since and look forward to school happily every day. I think it's tougher if the school doesn't have a consistent policy for all its students - allowing some parents to stay if they want. Can you imagine how confused the children must be? Even the children adjusting well must wonder why their parents didn't stay when other children's parents did. I would recommend finding a school with a consistent policy - either one that compels all the parents to stay for the same duration or one that prohibits them from staying at all.

[carang]

dany, i'm sorry, but as a playgroup teacher THE BEST THING you could have done is to leave when asked.

teachers KNOW how to handle children when they are upset. it's THEIR job to take care of it. i can tell you that you probably caused more problems by staying than if you'd just dropped her off as requested.

of course the children sometimes feel scared, but it's NOT your job to comfort them once you are into the school. that's the teacher's job.

i can guarantee that your daughter would have settled MUCH faster if you'd allowed her the opportunity to do so.

(caps for emphasis only, not intended as yelling ;) )