Yaya's leaving

[plumtree]

Hi Mummies

Hoping for a bit of practical advice. I have a 2.5 year old who's very attached to his Yaya (i.e. my helper, 'Yaya' is what he calls her). She's this weekend given me a month's notice because she's going to another country to work with her sister. Of course, this is inconvenient on all sorts of levels, but mostly I'm wondering how my son will take to this, and whether there's anything we can do to handle the day when she actually leaves. She's been working for us from before he was born, he's always had her around and they are close (I'm a working mum).

She's sad to be leaving him, and tears up when she thinks about it.

Do any of you have any advice about the best way to deal with this? We'll think of a nice explanation to tell him, and will be spending more time with him (while a new helper hopefully arrives!), but he's maybe a little bit young to really understand.

Thanks!

[lesliefu]

i would try to spend as much time with your son from now until the yaya leaves (i know as a working mom this might be hard), but i think to for him to have someone consistent apart from the yaya will be good so that he has some stability when she does eventually leave.

kids forget fast, and I don't think it will be a big issue in the long run...we've had yaya's leave and it's amazing how fast kids adjust to new people, especially if the new ones are good with kids - they forget easily. in the mean time perhaps there are things that you / your husband can do instead of having the yaya do so that everything doesn't seem all so sudden....

[ssheng]

I think it's a good idea to go ahead and tell him now that Yaya is going to be going to live with her sister soon, so that he has some time to adjust to the idea of it before she actually leaves and the idea becomes reality. (With any luck, he won't really understand the concept that she won't be coming back, either). You can have him prepare a picture or even a picture book for her as a goodbye present - he might therefore associate her leaving with something positive. Then once she is gone he can draw pictures for you to send to her (or you don't have to send them, but it gives him something to do if he does start asking about her or feeling sad). I would imagine you'll have a new helper by then and he'll probably latch on to her right away so that will also help with any sad feelings he has. Maybe you can also tell him he is going to have a new Yaya coming soon, so he is looking forward to something rather than dreading something.

[plumtree]

Thanks all for the helpful comments. Yes, we'll start to think about how we can do more with him these few weeks. We may not actually have a new helper by then (depending on how the visa thing works out) but the good thing is that we're all going on holiday together 2 weeks after yaya leaves: maybe that change will be a good distraction.