Potty training and pooing in undies!

[starbucks2]

Hi

We are potty training our almost 3 year old and he is going well for wees (often tells us potty and we take him straight there) but is resistant on pooing on the potty. He has done it once but most of the time he either waits for his lunchtime nappy at his nap time, at nighttime nappy or, even worse, will poo in his undies and then tell us "I done a poo"! Any tips for getting the transition of pooing in the potty??? Have tried bribes (M&Ms and toys) but no luck so far ....

Thanks

[Frenchy]

It took a bit longer for our son to do n.2 in the toilets... he never liked the potty, just we just bought one of these little seats to put on the toilets. Then we asked him everyday if he wanted to poo in the toilet... he said no during 2 or 3 weeks, and one day, he just asked by himself to go on the toilets. Since that day, no accident !

[aussie mum]

My middle son was similar. And often wouldn't even bother to tell me he'd pooped in his undies. I'd discover it some time later. Eww
I bought a book called zoo poo (from shopinhk) and that seemed to help a bit. I'd definitely recommend it. But I also think eventually over time it all just 'clicks'. Bribery with m&ms etc only go so far.
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[thanka2]

Ah, the "joys" of poo in the pants. Our 3-year-old is potty trained pretty much. Peeing on the toilette was a piece of cake but pooing has not been. We think that the problem lies in the fact that pooing takes more patience and control than peeing does. Sometimes we have to go poo but we need to spend some time sitting there to accomplish the task. Three-year-olds aren't known for their inclination to sit patiently and wait for anything. So, our son would sit on the toilette, give it 10 seconds and declare, "Done!" Then a few minutes later he would be playing in pooed pants. It's a timing thing. Also, a motivation thing.

So, the two things we've found effective are:

1. Making him help us with the stinky, dirty job of cleaning up his soiled undies--which he really doesn't like to do

2. Upping the ante on rewards. My husband declared one day, "I am so tired of him pooing in his pants [usually my husband is the one who will clean him up when he does] that from now on whenever he poos in the toilette, I will give him ice cream [our son loves ice cream]." These mini ice cream cones are suitable for this type of reward, I think.

Some people may have huge issues and think, "Well, then your kid is just going to eat ice cream all day!" I say, initially, "If it works, it works" and in my experience, eventually the child doesn't even ask for the reward any more because the habit is already there--they don't just start pooing in their pants again--usually they don't revert. So, give it a try and after 3-4 weeks you may not even have to give the reward anymore.

For going pee in the toilette we had started off by rewarding him with juice gummy snacks--2 for each time he went to the toilette successfully. At this point, he doesn't even ask for the snacks because he just goes to the toilette automatically.

For going poo we had been rewarding him with five gummy snacks and some coins to put in his piggy bank but it just wasn't the right type of reward for the accomplishment apparently. Since introducing the ice cream reward we haven't had one incident of poo in the pants and my son has taken the initiative to tell us when he has to go poo. He is much better able to focus and actually know when he really has to go. It has been a complete success. We just needed the right reward.

[Honkyblues]

We went through this with my first son - took a week to potty train for wees (at age 3 - he'd been very resistant up to then). But another 2 months to potty train for poos. He would just wait for his night-time nappy. Great control! ;-)

I think some of it was fear (rather than not being able to sit and wait for a poo). It can seem a little traumatic to have something drop out of your body and to 'lose it' - whereas in a nappy/pants, the poo leaves the body and is then (urrggghhh!) warm and comfortable against the skin. It took time, patience, multiple rewards - and even 'punishments' - throwing away his favourite undies when he pooed in them.

Eventually we got there, but there's no magic solution and every child is different. But just know you are not the only one to go through this. And this too will pass!! ;-)

[starbucks2]

Thanks everyone. Heartening to know that I am not alone in this!!

[thanka2]

We went through this with my first son - took a week to potty train for wees (at age 3 - he'd been very resistant up to then). But another 2 months to potty train for poos. He would just wait for his night-time nappy. Great control! ;-)

I think some of it was fear (rather than not being able to sit and wait for a poo). It can seem a little traumatic to have something drop out of your body and to 'lose it' - whereas in a nappy/pants, the poo leaves the body and is then (urrggghhh!) warm and comfortable against the skin. It took time, patience, multiple rewards - and even 'punishments' - throwing away his favourite undies when he pooed in them.

Eventually we got there, but there's no magic solution and every child is different. But just know you are not the only one to go through this. And this too will pass!! ;-)

Yes, some kids are afraid to go poo but our son was not afraid at all--he could and would do it from an early age (before he was 1-year-old because my parents-in-law used the "elimination communication" approach--i.e. "going diaperless" when he was with them)--in his case it was a total impatience thing--had no fear of pooing and even was happy when he did it but didn't want to take the time out to do it. I think everyone has to look closely at their own child and see the exact emotion they're going through. Our friends had a hard time potty training their youngest daughter because of the fear issue.

[penelope]

My eldest was the same and wasn t completely potty trained untill 3 years and 7 months old...
We tried every possible bribe(sweets, stickers,money ,lighting McQueen undies, ice cream ,Disneyland,etc..).We tried the hard way as well:cleaning his underwear etc... but the only thing that worked is when our twins were born we kept showing him their dirty nappies (I know it sounds horrible but it worked). he got so disgusted with it that he was done maybe 3 weeks after they were born...
Before that it turned into a power battle. I really think that he was doing it to show us that he had some kind of power on us. He was physically able to do it but loved the attention he got from it.
I certainly won t be rushing to train my twins... We started to train my first son at 2 years old. It was a long 19 months of poopy underwear...