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Playground fights/rough kids

  1. #1
    Biggie is offline Registered User
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    Dec 2010
    Hong kong island

    Playground fights/rough kids

    I thought there was a thread on this a while back but just had an incident today and want to see how other moms deal with playground incidents.
    My son is almost 3, he is the gentle type and doesn't play rough. We were at a public place with a playhouse. A kid similar size to mine was shutting the door and won't let my son in. I stepped in and said everyone can play here so he backed off. Both were in the house and All is well for a little while, then te other kid push/hit my son and I yelled to him "dont hurt him" and my son was crying. My son got out of the house crying, I told him not to cry and spoke very loudly for everyone there to hear, that there are some people who are not nice and we just don't play with them. I told him if someone is not playing nice then tell him that and don't play with him and there is no need to cry. The other boy got upset(he should).
    I want to teach my son to deal with these situations and stand up for himself. He is sensitive and usually just cry if someone take his toys or say mean things at playground. I don't want to preach to other kids as that's not my job.
    How do you deal with these situations?
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  2. #2
    carang's Avatar
    carang is offline Registered User
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    Sep 2004
    Sai Kung

    they are still under three. they are still learning. of course, it is not good for kids to be hitting each other and you are doing the right thing by teaching your son that he doesn't need to put up with that behaviour.

    i done/said the same things at the playground to my kids over the past 7 years...

  3. #3
    Newbie_hk is offline Registered User
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    Dec 2010

    Playground dynamics are so tricky as you want your child to assert himself & be independent but at the same time, you need to step in just at the right moment before bullying gets too far.

    I would do pretty much the same thing as you do but I wouldn't tell him "no need to cry". It's a normal reaction & they are still dealing with their emotions.

    I would also approach the guardian (helper or parent) present at the playground. They should be supervising the kids & more often than not, things go out of hand when they take their eyes off the child.

  4. #4
    nicolejoy's Avatar
    nicolejoy is offline Registered User
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    Oct 2007
    North Point

    It is hard - I have a 3 year old who is sometimes on either side of the playground fights. Personally I would prefer that she is being pushed around than if she was the one pushing around! If she gets hurt, then she can learn how it feels like and I have a point of reference as to why she shouldn't push other kids etc. Kids at this age are soooo competitive - I know that my daughter is so focused on being "first" and "fastest" and "best" and she will say things like "he is the loser" if she is faster than another kid. I am trying to teach her - and she is learning - but it is a slow process. It's human nature to be selfish... I think it's important that we all teach our kids the best way to behave when they are both "king of the playground" as well as "underdog"... And just as much as I wouldn't want my child to be the bully, I also wouldn't want her to be the victim either. It's important for them to learn to be assertive AND kind... and to find a balance between those two traits. Hard stuff!!

  5. #5
    thanka2 is offline Registered User
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    May 2009

    I have and would do almost the same thing that you did. First, I make sure my child isn't in danger. Next, I speak to the child who is bullying--in my son's case it's usually a bigger child and therefore I have absolutely no tolerance for that behavior as it's not fair if you're the child is twice my son's age or more and finds pleasure in intimidating him--I've had to deal with this behavior at public parks/playrooms since my son was literally an infant. My son is also quite gentle--sometimes he has his selfish and grabby moments but he really does know how to share and let others go first and most of the time he does. So, anyway...first make sure my son is okay--then address the offending child and then if it continues, seek out the offending child's supervisor. If all else fails, we do leave or at least get out of the vicinity of where that child is at. But, mostly, I want my child to know that that type of behavior is not okay--neither from him nor from anyone else and that if someone is not playing well he can choose to remove himself from the situation. I would never tell my son to "stop crying" in this situation because crying is a natural and normal response to when children have been hurt--either physically or emotionally and not crying isn't any more "tough" than crying. We have been working on my son about not crying to try to get his way (it doesn't work with us) or crying over really trivial matters (i.e. "she brushed by me"). He is starting to really show some self control in this area. But, if a bully is picking on my kid at the playground, crying is a legitimate response.

    “Many women have described their experiences of childbirth as being associated with a
    spiritual uplifting, the power of which they have never previously been aware …
    To such a woman childbirth is a monument of joy within her memory.
    She turns to it in thought to seek again an ecstasy which passed too soon.”

    ~ Grantly Dick-Read (Childbirth Without Fear)

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  6. #6
    lesliefu is offline Registered User
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    Dec 2008
    South District

    i would do something similar to what you have has happened to my child before and I honestly think it is natural for things like that to offer...unfortunate but that is why i need to teach my daughter to protect herself. normally, in these situations my daughter would come running to me crying, first i would let her cry and then calm her down then ask her why she is feeling sad. (I like to label her emotions - cause i am afraid she will feel "angry" and want to fight back which could also be a natural response). then i will teach her to say "please stop" if someone is making her sad and then if the bad behavior continues i will divert her attention elsewhere so she does not play in the same vicinity as the "naughty" child.

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