Toddler forgot what he did?

[Gataloca]

So the other night my 19 month old was co-sleeping with us. He woke up in the middle of the night and decided to stay awake for a while. He asked to have some water, so we gave him his sippy cup. He started playing, and then spitted out water all over the bed. We (my hubby and I) told him that he shouldn't be playing and spitting the water out. In return, he got unhappy and hit my hubby 3 times. We told him in firm voice that he cannot hit papa or mama, and that upset him even more. He then threw himself back and started crying. I told him that what he did was wrong, and that we would not pay attention to him if he continued crying. Then i just turned my back to him, and pretended to be sleeping. After few second he stopped crying and came to me, only to cry this time for milk... I guess he felt upset and wanted the conform of breastfeeding?. I breastfed for few minutes, after that, he went back to sleep.

So my question is, am I doing anything wrong? I was trying to punish him for his bad behavior, but it seemed that he forgot what he did???? How to teach him to apology when he doesn't know what "sorry" means? And should I always expect an apology after a punishment?

[carang]

1) yes, always expect an apology for poor behaviour
2) he's only 19 months, but he shouldn't be hitting anyone, no matter the reason.
3) if he is breastfeeding for comfort and a reward, then i wouldn't do it. if he was truly hungry, then i would. (but i didn't breastfeed much past 1 year, so i can't really comment on that with anything except my opinion).

[Gataloca]

Yeah.. but how to do teach him what an apology is? He might not be able to say "sorry" anyway, so what would be an acceptable apology coming from a 19 month old?

And what if he doesn't remember or doesn't know what he did? Do you have to remember it? ("remember what you did few minutes ago???? you hit daddy!!!!") even if he seems happy again? ("stop smiling and say sorry first!!!!!")

[carang]

i have always taught my kids "i'm sorry for hitting""i'm sorry for yelling""i'm sorry for biting"etc. of course, he's still little, the only way you can teach him is to give him the words for what's wrong.

[Gataloca]

Silly me! You are right Cara. I should say the words for him even when he doesn't know what they mean right now.

[carang]

and make sure you do not say things like "don't hit, i will get angry with you" .... keep to his behaviour and it's consequences.
"don't hit... hitting hurts!"

[Newbie_hk]

One other thing to remember is be consistent. If you teach him to say sorry for bad behaviour on one day & the next day, you let him get away with it, you could be sending him mixed signals. Make sure you & you husband are on the same page too so he knows the rules apply to both parents

[carang]

and helper, too, if you have one.