HELP needed - night time toilet training, night milk/pacifier, strong night diaper??

[Little bird]

Help please! I have a few problems which (I believe) are inter-linked and I really need help / people sharing experiences or ideas.

My 3 yr old son wets his bed easily even with diaper on and I blame it to the night milk(s). He dinners at 6pm and bed at 9pm with a bottle of milk. He often asks for another milk at 5am or 6am. He also loves his pacifier and little handkerchief, which I managed to limit it to sleep time only.

Really run out of idea/way to get rid of the night milk issue?

We tried waking him up at night at 1.5 hrs for a wee after his night milk. It works sometimes but as he is heavy to carry (40 pounds) and not always have wee in the first attempt. The night we felt lazy then his wets his bed with a full diaper. As he gets bigger it seems no diaper can hold his wee for the whole night? Is there any super-absorbet diaper in the market? Is there any product alternatives? Any brand?

I really envy my friends (and shame of myself) whose kids of same age can sleep independently (our helper sleeps in his room) and do not require any milk bottles at the start and end of his sleep routine. :(

Many thanks in advance for sharing.

[carang]

when our kids got to be 2-ish....mummy "ran out of milk"....then kept forgetting to buy more. i offered them a bottle of water instead. they still sleep with water by the bed in case they get thirsty and they are 5.5 &7.5. after a few days of forgetting to buy milk they stopped asking for it.

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[thanka2]

I agree with Cara...he can't have what you don't give him. Stop feeding him liquids before bed. Our son gets a half-cup of water before bed and that's it. If you want to potty train him make sure he's getting enough fluids and food during the day and cut out all nighttime drinking and eating. You will have to kick the lazy habit and get out of bed and get him to go pee. We don't carry our son to the toilet...he walks there on his own--even though he is half-awake. You don't need to carry your son...teach him to walk. He's 3-years-old. Forty pounds isn't all that heavy either, I have to say. If you want your son to sleep independently, teach him how to sleep independently. If your helper isn't around at night to get him what he wants this will also help. As far as him taking a while to go pee...well, you'll just have to wait. I turn on the faucet and the sound of the water makes my son go every time. Instead of investing in bigger and more absorbent diapers--help your son to be aware of his body and train him to go to the toilet on his own--you're going to have to do this sooner or later anyway--might as well start now. My son is 4-years-old and has been diaper-free at night since he was 2.5-years-old. He wasn't exactly a quick learner but we put a plastic shower curtain over the mattress in case he has any accidents but he rarely, rarely has any anymore and when he does he personally feels embarrassed about it. I don't know...when I think about feeding 3, 4, 5+ year-olds with bottles and keeping them in diapers it just makes me think that there is something in this culture that likes to keep children from developing and growing up. I again saw another advertisement yesterday for formula for 5-year-olds. Basically, your child will do what you allow him to do so if he's wetting the bed it's not his fault--it's a slip-up on the parents' part--notice what you are and aren't doing to help him become a "big boy" (responsible for himself and his body in an age-appropriate way) and then change it. That's all that can be done.

[carang]

i will say that every child develops at their own pace. our son was completely diaper free by the age of 2.5. my daughter took another year, so by 3.5.

but, i do agree with some of thanka's sentiments. children do what they are allowed to get away with.
we didn't carry our kids to the toilet either... why? they are 2.5-3.5 years old.... perfectly capable of walking there on their own. in the same way that we stopped using strollers/prams by the time they were 2.5 years old. just the other day, i saw a boy in a pram drinking formula from a bottle.... i think he must have been about 5-6 years old... my almost 6 year old asked, "mummy, why is that boy acting like a baby? he is in a stroller and he's drinking milk from a bottle!" she was astonished that such a big kid would be allowed to do that....

[rani]

How about putting a small potty in his room? We would take our son to the toilet before we went to bed at 11-12pm. The potty was in his room. We wouldn't carry him, just help him get out of bed. Eventually he would go by himself cos it was right there.